As I mentioned in a previous reflection, I had met some new friends.  My brother John had met them initially but they were interested in me also.  They were older than I was by a few years.  I am not going to publish their names in my blog or book.  I will just refer to them as Charles and Damon. 

I have to be honest here.  My memory of this time are flashbacks, dream like and frustrating to me.  I can't recall chronological events during this time period and will have to use my family to aide me during this writing process.

It wasn't long after we met Charles and Damon that we actually started hanging out.  I was always talking to people older than me because I found them intellectually stimulating.  It was like I needed that in my life.  I had started 9th grade this year and was under a fair amount of stress from school, Marc was still in a coma, mom was always at work trying to keep us afloat, and my father was trying use my brother and I to get back at mom for divorcing him.

Some of my memories of us just hanging out were in Old Louisville where Charles lived and in the west end of Louisville where Damon lived.  We didn't have cars so we walked everywhere in the city.

My brother and I would stay out all night while mom was working and we basically just ran the streets.  Charles and Damon both were into martial arts and my brother and I were also.  So many nights we would practice sparring.

All that was innocent enough but then there was another aspect that we kept hidden. Hidden from our friends, parents and schools.  My brother and I were both wanting to belong to something...anything.  Charles and Damon offered us their friendship and a opportunity to join their group of Satanists.  This was back in the 1980's when Satanism was a hot topic. 

In Satanism,  that which is good is bad, and that which is bad is good.  I already felt "bad" pretty much my whole life, so maybe this would be a good thing.  I wanted to be a part of it and my brother did not.  We started drifting apart ... really apart.  My brother started to see characteristics in me that he had never seen.  I was reading the satanic bible by Anton LaVey and agreeing with most of the ideas expressed in it.  My mom was terrified and even bought a copy of the book for herself to read.

I am not going into details about anything that happened during the next few months.  I can tell you that my brother raised a gun to shoot Charles and Damon and I got in between the gun and them.  I was willing to take a bullet for them.

My father after a few months of seeing the changes in my personality and increased involvement decided to step in and invited me to stay the night with him and his wife at their apartment.  I took the bait.  He explained to me that we were going for a drive over to Indiana for some unknown reason.  I hopped in the car and thought cool I get some "dad" time.  It wasn't what I expected.

My father took me to Indiana and placed me in a mental hospital.

Here is the beginning of my journey.